A Letter to My Son-in-Law

Right now, you are becoming the man my daughter will commit to loving for the rest of her life. You are out in the world somewhere, but you are on your way to her and you will be in our lives very soon.

Here’s a secret: I cannot wait. 

 

I have prayed for you for years, as well as for my heart as you enter our lives. I have prayed that I would love you from the very beginning, that I would think that you are too good to be true, that I would see immediately that you will be a wonderful husband and father. 

 

I am truly excited about your arrival. I am not worried about losing my daughter to you. She loves me and her father. She respects us and we adore her. There is enough love to go around. I will never, ever ask her to choose. I will be your biggest fan. I will pick you first in charades and Trivial Pursuit. I am excited to add you to our group chat and to include you in our family pictures. I will make your favorite dessert when you come visit and have your favorite drink ready.

 

I promise to be transparent with you about who I am…because that will ultimately help you understand my daughter. You will know our strengths and our weaknesses. I will not sugarcoat the struggles, but I will not dwell on the mistakes either. You can ask me any question and I will answer truthfully. However, I will respect your need for privacy and will allow you to tell me things in your own time.

 

I will not put unreasonable expectations on you. I pray that I will remember the early days of our marriage. You are establishing your career and your family and they both need your attention. 

 

I’m on your side. I want you to feel loved in our home. To prove it, here is my best tip for when you meet the father of your bride:  shake his hand like a man. He might be 30 years older than you, but he has been working on this handshake since the day he heard the doctor say, “It’s a girl.”  One day I hope you will hear those words…only then will you begin to understand the depth of Trey’s love for his daughter. He has been her protector and provider and he has done an amazing job. He has encouraged her to become a woman of influence—in her family, her career, her church, her world. Because of him, she possesses strength of character and courage of convictions. There are no wimpy women in our home, thanks to Trey’s leadership. His daughters are not afraid of confrontation but won’t go looking for a fight. They are hospitable, gracious and fiercely loyal. They love Jesus. 

 

I am praying for you…that you will love the Lord with all of your heart, mind and strength, and that my daughter will be God’s greatest gift in your life, second only to His saving grace. She is going to love you so much. Thank you for loving her back. 

 

Love,

Wynne

 

When your mom is a pharmacist...

Our oldest returns to West Point this week. Anna Louise will start her freshman year at Baylor in late August. Both will be approximately 1000 miles away from us, after spending the past four months in our home. There is very little that I can do as a mother from that distance. But, I can send them prepared with all sorts of stuff in case they contract Covid-19 and have to quarantine. Here is what I included in their "Quarantine Kit".

Wages Quarantine Kit 2020

¨ Thermometer

¨ Advil (ibuprofen) 200mg

¨ Tylenol (acetaminophen) 500mg

¨ Zyrtec (cetirizine) 10mg

¨ Pepcid AC (famotidine) 20mg

¨ Loperamide 2mg (antidiarrhea)

¨ DayQuil/NyQuil combo pack

¨ Cold-Eeze or Zicam lozenges

¨ Mucinex 600mg XR (guaifenesin)

¨ Vitamin C 500mg 

¨ Zinc picolinate/gluconate/acetate 50mg 

¨ Quercetin 300mg 

¨ Melatonin (slow release) 1.2mg

¨ Vitamin D3 1000IU 

¨ Hand sanitizer

¨ Kleenex

¨ Powerade

¨ Books

¨ Phone charger

¨ Comfortable pair of shorts/t-shirt/change of underwear

 

 

Covid Vitamin Cocktail

Vitamin C 500mg BID*

Zinc 50mg BID 

Quercetin 300mg BID

Melatonin (slow release) 1.2mg each evening

Vitamin D3 1000 QD**

 

Covid Pepcid/Zyrtec Treatment

Pepcid (famotidine) 20mg BID x21 days

Zyrtec (cetirizine) 10mg BID x21 days

 

Antidiarrheal Treatment

Loperamide 4mg (2 capsules) after 1st loose stool, then 2mg (1 capsule) after each subsequent loose stool. Maximum daily dosage is 16mg (8 capsules)

*BID = twice daily

**QD = once daily

 

 

3 Months into the Pandemic...

It was a tsunami, heading straight for us. The virus which had killed thousands in China and devastated Italy was ravaging New York City and coming our way. On March 12, Trey told me that we were locked down. Over the next few days, when he wasn’t at the hospital, he spent hours on the phone with our family and friends, explaining the severity of Covid-19 and the precautions that they must take. I was concerned about so many things, but mainly I was worried about Trey. His words rang in my ears: “I’m definitely going to get it; I just need to hold off for as long as possible so that I can help for as long as possible.”

That first weekend, Trey was on call. While he was working and I was scrolling through Facebook, I saw what I had been dreading—EAMC had its first coronavirus patient. I knew that Trey would be the one to intubate this patient. I became physically sick. I couldn’t sleep. 

Sleepless nights are nothing new for me. First of all, I am a mom and it comes with the territory. But, also, I am a doctor’s wife. But, I am nothing like the doctors' wives on television. I didn’t marry a doctor. I married a pharmacist. When Trey decided that he wanted to go back to school, I walked with him through the MCAT and the application process. I grinned through gritted teeth when professor after professor joked that only 33% of their marriages would survive the stress of medical school. I supported our family financially while he was in medical school and throughout his residency. With no family nearby, I navigated the waters of childcare and my pharmacy career. Church and children’s activities were often solo adventures. No less than 15 of our anniversaries have been spent apart. But it’s our life and I love it, through good & bad.

However, on March 15, I didn’t love it. I hated every minute of that night…and many nights that followed. When I saw the video of Trey suiting up into his “space suit” of protective equipment, I almost fainted. I didn’t want the children to see me fall apart, but I cried a lot. I was so worried about him. The thought of him fighting this unknown disease with limited knowledge and equipment made my heart hurt and my body fail. I couldn’t even kiss Trey goodbye because it wasn’t safe, so I would watch him leave with tears in my eyes. My kids hugged me and helped shoulder the load. I was so unbelievably grateful for the daily prayer times at the hospital parking deck, as well as for the texts of love and concern from friends. 

I watched as the numbers in Lee County rivaled the per capita numbers of other hot spots around the country. I watched Trey mourn the patients they couldn’t save. I watched him work so hard with other physicians to develop plans and treatment modalities. I heard him on the phone with colleagues around the nation. I watched as we were all in agreement that Covid-19 was the great enemy to the health and wellness of our nation. Then, I watched things ease up. Trey told me that we could get Chick-fil-A. (Cue the Hallelujah Chorus.) The stay home orders became safer at home. We bought masks and started wearing them. Trey went back to the OR as opposed to the ICU. Yet…

…Now we cannot agree on anything—masks, vaccines, economic recovery plans, churches meeting, churches singing, schools reopening. Despite the hostility, Trey goes to work day after day.  Not only Trey, but countless other physicians, nurses, respiratory therapists, maintenance workers and housekeeping staff members. These people love our community and love their patients. They have seen and will see the effects of Covid-19. Therefore, I urge you to talk to them before you get your coronavirus updates from Fox or CNN or Twitter or Facebook. They don’t have an agenda; they just want to keep their patients healthy and their own families safe.

Morever, when you are deciding whether to wear a mask or whether to go to that bar or whether to congregate or sing with your church family, think about them, the healthcare providers who will care for the next positive Covid-19 patient in the ICU. Not only them, but their families. Please think about the wife who has to alternate sleeping with her teenaged daughters because sleeping in her own bed with her husband is too risky. Please think about the children who cannot hug their father for weeks or months because he doesn’t want to put them at increased risk. Please think about us. We are giving our best to you and we want him back, safe and sound. And, believe me, if you are the next patient needing his care, you want him to be able to be your doctor. 

Bad Reasons to Vote for a Local Election Candidate

1. I just like him/her. So??? I like my son’s six year old friend, but he would be a terrible elected official. 
2. S/he shares my religious beliefs. In local government, religious beliefs do not come into play that often. Our local government is constrained already by the US Constitution and the Bill of Rights. Espousing a religious belief of any kind is not a qualification for holding elected office...following the lawis. 
3. S/he is born and bred Auburn. Stop the madness. What does this even mean? That the candidate was so short-sighted that s/he really believes that Auburn is a Utopian society? That the candidate doesn’t think that any other college is able offer the education that s/he needs? That governmental experience and education is less valuable coming from outside Alabama?? (Have you SEEN our state politicians???) Whatever the rationale for using home grown as a campaign tool, it reveals what the candidate believes about those of us who came to Auburn after birth and who are striving to make it a home for our family. It is elitist with no justification.
4. S/he is well-connected. A candidate who is well-connected is not often benevolently well-connected. Quid pro quo. It’s a thing. 
5. S/he is experienced. Please remember that this is local government. This is where our elected officials get their experience! I want local leaders to be educated and experienced in fields that teach them how to think, how to make decisions, how to lead. 
6. I like what s/he says. This can be a valid reason, but I urge you to re-read the candidates’ statements. What does each candidate reallysay? “Transparency.” “Cooperation.” “Change.” But how?? Do they give specifics? Challenge them. Find out what they reallyintendto do. 

Decisions are made by those who show up. But don’t just show up. Show up informed. Show up intelligently. Show up ready to defend your vote. 

Our children are watching. 

I Stood.

I had to stand to cast a vote.

I've never done that before. I've heard about situations where the vote was tallied by standing but I've never been in the room when it happened.

Now I have. And I stood. In opposition.

The issue is not really what the vote was about and where it took place. The issue is that I stood. I stood with one other person in opposition. Not because I am a malcontent, but because I refuse to let the process be a sham. There were others opposed...but they stayed away or stayed seated. That's their prerogative. But my vote is mine. 

We have four children who we are parenting into a world where it is easier to just go with the flow of popular opinion. People vote for a particular political party's candidate because they always vote that party or vote "yes" for every amendment on the ballot because it takes too much effort to research them.  Others avoid the vote because it doesn't matter...their vote won't change things.

Nope. I will vote every time. Even when it doesn't matter. I will research and pray and I will refuse to prostitute my voice. 

I will vote no...even when the moderator looks me in the eye and dares me to stand....because I have to go home and look my daughters in the eyes as well. And that is more important.

New Mom me vs Experienced Mom me

New moms are blogging up a storm these days. While I am glad that there are now outlets for young mothers to connect with each other and develop relationships during the hectic "new mom" days, some of the posts make me laugh. I really do not intend to make light of those days, but now that I am 17 years past the first "new mom" stage in my life, I thought it would be fun to see how our parenting has evolved.

Key

NM=New Mom

EM=Experienced Mom

NM: Enduring worship service with a toddler.
EM:  Enduring worship service with grumpy, sullen teenagers

NM:  Selecting a carseat & getting the child to stay in the carseat
EM:  Teaching a 15 year old to drive

NM:  Narrowing down all of the cute clothes that are available for my sweet girls
EM:  Finding appropriate (i.e., non-hoochie) clothes for my sweet girls.

NM:  Embarrassing my child when I had to discipline him in public
EM:  Embarrassing my child by breathing

NM:  Getting a family photo without a goofy face

Exhibit A


EM:  Getting a family photo without a grumpy face

Exhibit B


NM:  Physical exhaustion
EM:  Emotional exhaustion

NM:  Selecting play-dates with friends who have like-minded parents
EM:  Watching as my children gravitate toward their own friends...without regard to family dynamics...and keeping my mouth shut

NM:  Hoping that your older child will have a younger sibling to love and to teach the ins and outs of life in your home. 

EM:  Feeling the despair that comes from the fear that your children might not continue their relationship with each other, once they are grown.

NM:  Wondering if you and your husband will ever be able to have a "date" again
EM:  Seeing the empty nest on the horizon & feeling an ache in your heart

NM:  Being so excited when your child makes his first good decision by himself
EM:  Watching & waiting on his college decision and realizing that it is completely his alone

NM:  Taking our children to church and to Christ
EM:  Waiting on Christ to come to them and for them to respond in obedience

This list is non all-inclusive. Experienced moms, please feel free to add struggles of your own.

New moms, I really do miss that special time of life that you are currently in...when hurts were healed by a band-aid, a kiss and a popsicle. Now the hurts are bigger, but the opportunity to show Christ to my children is more expansive.  He can heal those hurts that I cannot take away. And since that is what really matters...keep growing up, my children.

Another chance

The coach looked at Trey and me and asked, "Which child should I give up on?"

Those words keep ringing over and over again in my head.

To me, the one who often places more significance on justice than on grace and mercy, this question was convicting. 

How many times have I grumbled about another chance given to a wayward child while mine followed the rules? How many times have I criticized teachers, coaches or bosses for giving another chance to a seemingly "lost cause"?  But...when is giving up on someone okay?  When do we stop giving 2nd...or 3rd...or 4th chances?

A dear friend of mine gave her husband another chance after he was unfaithful.  Now their marriage is a testament to the grace of God with 3 precious children.  They are serving God in a local church and connecting with men and women who desperately need forgiveness and who desperately need to forgive.

Ben Carson was given another chance.  Now he is a world-renowned neurosurgeon who has been used to work miracles in the lives of countless people.

Jonah was given another chance...and all of the people of Nineveh were spared and God received the glory.

The Bible is full of "another chance" stories...Jacob, David, Samson...Simon Peter?  Not once, but three times he denied even knowing Jesus...but thankfully his friend, his Savior, gave him another chance.

So, when should I give up on a wayward child?

Never.

What child is worth another chance?

All of them.

Of course, this doesn't mean that we don't discipline.  This doesn't mean that the guilty don't suffer the consequences of their actions.  But it is not our right or our burden to give up on any child.  That burden relies solely on the shoulders and in the hands of God the Father.

If we claim to be Believers of the Lord Jesus Christ, we should be actively looking for opportunities for redemption.  After all, we ourselves were redeemed for God's glory.  What better way to glorify God than by showing forgiveness and love to the unlovable?

Who knows?  Maybe the child to whom we give another chance is the next Charles Spurgeon...or Abraham Lincoln...or the father of your grandchildren.

P.S.  Thank you, Coach Carter, for changing many children's lives by giving them another chance.  Thank you for changing mine and Trey's by reminding us that no one is past the point of redemption.

It's {not} Supposed to Be Fun

We attended our last PTO meeting for the year this week.  We went because our 4th grader was performing.  She had vaguely told us what the performance was going to be, but it didn't matter.  She was performing so we were there.

I wish we hadn't gone.

It was the typical PTO meeting...officers elected for the next year, budget presented, rah rah rah we are the best elementary school.

The children performed.  Sort of.  They chanted and danced to songs about how great they are going to do on the state-mandated testing in two weeks.

Then the counselor began her presentation...(to the most attentive parents in the school because, after all, we are the ones who showed up on a spring evening for a meeting!)...about how to get our children ready for testing.  Good night's sleep, eat a good breakfast, no appointments scheduled the days of testing...got it.

But what I didn't "get', what I completely disagree with, is the fact that she opened her talk with a statement something like this: "We want your children to know that testing is fun."

Hmmm...no.

State or federally-mandated standardized testing is not fun.  Never has been.  Never will be.

Now, I'm not saying that we should make it a big deal.  I think standardized testing is, unfortunately, just a necessary evil.  We should not put additional stress on our children to perform well.  In fact, why don't we just not even mention it to the children until they walk in and the forms are on their desks??  Let's make light of it if you want.  But, it's not fun.

And that's okay.

Because life is full of things that are not "fun".  A quick run-down of things in my life that haven't been "fun"...

College admissions testing
National pharmacy licensure boards
Working for a crazy woman as a boss...who attempted to fire me simply because was 9 months pregnant
Watching my newborn son who I had only held once flying off in a jet to the NICU in a hospital 2 hours away
Burying my father

It's time that we stop blurring the lines between fantasy and reality for our children.  We need to start letting them know that all of life isn't fun...or fair...  We can do that by telling them that they are not going to enjoy taking a test.  It will NOT be fun.  But, after they finish it, we are going to reward them with a snack and extra recess.

And no homework.

Now that's fun.

Don't Ask Me.

"Do you have any tricks or secrets to handling all the busyness of life with 4 active kids?"

That's the question I received via Facebook this morning.  Truly, today is the worst day to ask me that question.  I am sitting here in tears over the exchange I had with one of my children.  I am feeling incredibly guilty over the lack of attention given to my youngest two as the older two.  And don't even get me started on the state of my house.  I think the sheets on my oldest's bed have been completely kicked off and he was sleeping just under a blanket.

I used to think that these days would be so much easier than the days of sippy cups, car seats, bathtime and Barney.  Now all of my children bathe themselves, sleep [usually] in their own beds and enjoy watching some of the same shows that I do.  However, those days of mommy knowing everything and being able to fix anything are gone.  Now I am a source of embarrassment if I don't look, drive or talk the "right" way.  But I have sort of expected that.  After all, I was a teenager once myself.  

[Please forgive me, Momma and Daddy.]

What I wasn't expecting was the heart-wrenching feeling that accompanies the mumbling, the sarcasm, the eye rolls.  The feeling that I have just sacrificed my day--my energy, my schedule, my body--for this child who has no regard for me.  No appreciation for the little things that encompass my entire existence as her mother.  

How dare she?  How dare he?  

How dare I?

I do the same thing to my Father.  Every day.  Every hour.  He presents me with his best...and I grumble.  He saved my soul for His glory in this life and the next...and I neglect Him.  He gives me His Truth...and I argue about what He should have said or what He really meant.

"In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus...he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant..."  Philippians 2:6, 7b

Can I be like Christ in that way?  If so, then I will be able to approach the busyness of life with joy.  If not, then I will stress over every little detail to the most of making myself and my family miserable.

I choose joy.

And now I must pray for God to help me...

The strongest women I know aren't on ESPN

I watched the Wives of the SEC this weekend. I wish I hadn't.

If you came away from that 3-part series with anything other than disgust, then you are too wrapped up in the celebrity of college football. The culture of artificiality, the opulence, the self-aggrandizing was appalling.

But the one comment that propelled me to the keyboard was this:

"The strongest women I know are coaches' wives."

Bless your heart.  You need to be introduced to more women.

I don't think that buying your own new car, bearing the responsibility of paying the household bills, filing your own tax returns or attending your children's extracurricular activities alone constitute a life of hardship requiring strength to overcome.

How do I know? I do all of those things. But I am not one of the strongest women in my circle of influence. In fact, let me introduce you to a few of the strongest women I know:

• Samantha is a single mother with 3 children. Her second child is in heaven because he was born with a rare skin disease. She watched him suffer for weeks before he died. Her husband abused drugs, had affairs and now has abandoned the family for another life. 
• Catherine's only brother was brutally murdered in the Middle East by Muslim extremists. After escaping an abusive marriage, her ex-husband makes her life miserable...taking her to court time and time again over custody issues, forcing their child into horrible situations, and generally terrorizing her.
• Sarah's youngest child was born with severe disabilities. Her oldest niece suffered an injury which has left her completely disabled, needing 24hr/day care which Sarah tries to help with when she can. She buried her mother a year ago after watching her completely waste away from cancer.
• Eleanor spent this past week...and every week of the school year...working with high school students who come from broken homes, if they have homes at all.  She spent most of her Saturday with a family who does not share her religious or ethnic background.  She serves this family well as she tries to show them the love of Jesus.   

Oh...and all 4 of these ladies work full-time in jobs that don't pay them what they are worth, much less pay them an extravagant amount more than what they are worth in terms of eternal value to society. They support the loved ones in their lives. They get up each morning and do what they have to do. They pinch pennies and shop sales. They pray.

Let's give credit where credit is due.

I'm so thankful for the strong women in my life. I pray that one day my daughters will look back at my life and see moments of strength. I pray that Trey and I are giving them the foundation so that when they need to be strong, they can call on the One from whom all real strength comes.

"Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future." 

Proverbs 31:25

A Letter to My Daughter-in-Law

I dreamed about you the other night. I couldn't see your face, I do not know your name, I do not know when or where or how you will decide that you love my son, but I know that you are coming.  You do not know me yet. Well, I guess you might, but the odds are that you don't. 

You do not know yet the joy of motherhood. You also do not know the pain that accompanies this highest of callings. I pray that one day you will.  I pray that one day you will rejoice greatly as the doctor says, "It's a boy!"...that one day your heart will ache as you realize that your baby boy is now taller than you...that one day a small tear will come to your eye when he surprises you with a bear hug and an apology after his testosterone-rich temper has caused him to say not-so-nice things to you.  

My sons are a constant source of joy and frustration... And I love them with my whole heart. I pray that you too will be the mother of a son.

I pray this for you because it is through these feelings of love and frustration that you will come to understand me a little better. Specifically, you will begin to understand how I feel toward your husband. Your protector, your provider, your love was first my baby, my little buddy, my son.

But soon he will be yours. His love and primary concern will be focused on you. And, since I know that day is coming, I must prepare myself. How on earth can I do that?

First, I must love his daddy with my whole heart. My command from God is to fulfill my vow to Trey, to my own husband. I must guard myself against putting my children above my husband. If I keep the proper perspective then the empty nest will be appealing, not depressing.

Second, I must remember that my identity is found in the cross of Christ, not in any of the earthly blessings I have. Can I say, like Job, "The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord."? (Job 1:21b) Do I find my completion, my wholeness in Christ? Colossians 2:10 says, "... in Him you have been made complete."  I must daily remember that His "grace is sufficient" for all things. (2 Corinthians 12:9)

Lastly, I must pray that I will live expectantly for your arrival on the scene in our lives. I pray that I will adore you from day one. I pray that I will think that you are too good to be true. Truly, I hope that I am shocked that you would choose my son to love!  I pray that I will not view you or treat you as a daughter, but as a beloved friend.  I pray that your relationship with your mother is strong. I pray that she will know from the very beginning that I have no desire to replace her in your life.  I pray that I will be available when you need me,  I want to be a source of experiential wisdom and love for you when times get tough.  I pray that I will remember these busy days when homework, carpool, ball games and piano lessons dominate the calendar.  I pray that the stress of being a young wife and mother will be vivid memories and that I will seek out ways to simply help you. I also pray that I will remember and be honest about my mistakes.  I pray that I will be quick to tell of the times when God worked in spite of me and slow to give myself any credit for any good in my children. 

Precious one, I know your husband quite well. But you will know him better. I can't wait to watch from the sidelines as you grow together!  He will love you so much. Thank you for loving him back. 

Love,

Wynne

Obedience has a Price Tag

"I will not offer burnt offerings to the Lord my God that cost me nothing." 2 Samuel 24:24b

David was told by the prophet Gad to build an altar to the Lord on the threshing floor belonging to a man named Araunah.  His call, his marching orders, were clear...do this thing. 

So, David went to Araunah and told him the purpose behind his visit:  "To buy the threshing floor from you, in order to build an altar to the Lord, that the plague may be averted from the people." 2 Samuel 24:21

Well, Araunah was a good Israelite. His king had come to him in need of something. His response was like ours would have been: "Take it...all that you need or want!! Free of charge; it is my pleasure, my king!"

However, David...the KING...does not respond in the manner which I anticipated. "No, but I will buy it from you for a price. I will not offer burnt offerings to the Lord my God that cost me nothing." 2 Samuel 24:24

How does this passage relate to short-term missions?

"I will not offer burnt offerings to the Lord my God that cost me nothing."

If you believe that God has commanded you to do something...if your "call", your marching order, is clear...then do it. Go in obedience.

However, do not expect that in the completion of your task, you will incur no costs. The God who required the ultimate sacrifice from His own Son surely expects a little from us, don't you think?

First, humble yourself.  Did David send a messenger to Araunah to tell him what the king needed? No. He personally went.  If the King of Israel can make a personal appearance before his potential benefactor, so can we.  A letter requesting support should only serve as a reminder to a previously held conversation. Go to people, tell them why you are going, tell them where you are going, tell them what you hope the end result will be.

If you hand me a support letter without asking me to sit down and give you an opportunity to tell me about your trip, I will throw it away. End of story. If you cannot sacrifice your time and humble yourself to ask face-to-face, you are not fit for the mission field...short- or long-term.

Second, be prepared for an outpouring of gifts. David asked to buy the threshing floor. Araunah offered to give him the threshing floor, the oxen, and the threshing sledges and oxen yokes to use as wood! And, on top of that, he offered his blessing upon David: "May The Lord accept you." 2 Samuel 24:23

Now, this doesn't mean that everyone you ask will give. However, some will. And some will give beyond what you could imagine. Ask them all to pray for you.  Ask them to pray that your calling is clear and that you are obeying God completely.

Lastly, be willing to work. It would have been so easy...and so understandable...for David to simply respond with a grateful, "Thank you." However, he knew that obedience requires sacrifice. 

"I will not offer burnt offerings to the Lord my God that cost me nothing."

Offer to work for people who you ask for support.  Babysit, do yard work, clean their house, go grocery shopping for them. I would be willing to guarantee that their "payment" will be greater proportionally than your sacrifice of time or labor.  I do not believe that God desires for us to depend wholly on the benevolence of others to accomplish the good works He has prepared in advance for us to do. 

How does the story end? David buys the threshing floor and oxen, builds an altar and sacrifices to the Lord, who hears David's plea and the plague on the land is averted. In other words, David obeyed and God moved. Don't you want to experience that? 

I hope our family has the opportunity to join many in the fulfillment of their marching orders. 

Season of Prayer

My oldest son's baseball season begins tomorrow.  Of course, conditioning, tryouts and practices have been going on for months, but the first game is tomorrow.  All of the Auburn Wages will put on our royal blue shirts, scarfs & caps, arrive at the ballpark early and cheer loudly for the Tigers.  It's what we do.

There are many unknowns to be answered over the next two months of baseball:  Who will start?  How will Ted pitch?  Batting averages, winning percentages, RBIs and ERAs.  Will the Tigers win more than they lose?  Will the PA announcer call his name correctly?  

So many unknowns...Truly, only one thing is certain:  I do not have control over any of these.  The outcome of any at-bat or pitch or game has ZERO to do with me. For some people, that would be liberating.  For this type A, control-freak mom, it is a little bothersome.  I HAVE to do something, right?

So, I am going to do what I CAN do.  I am going to declare this baseball season to be a season of prayer.  I don't exactly know how this is going to play out--a designated time each week?  A more regular blog post?  Just personal, quality times of prayer in the quiet of my home?  Meeting with other moms?  Not sure yet.  

But one thing I do know:  I will not pray that the Tigers win.

Before you completely write me off, I am not going to pray that they lose, either.  However, I am more concerned about my son and his teammates' character development than their record.  So, here are some ways that I will pray for Ted (and his teammates):

• I pray that they will be good sports, that they will accept victory humbly and defeat graciously.  I pray that they will keep a check on their emotions and a lock on their 15-year old tongues.  
• I pray that they will not seek individual accolades, but that those who are followers of Christ would do all things for the glory of God and that all team members would work together for the good of the team.  I pray that they would rejoice with each other's success and would encourage others during times of failure.
• I pray that these young men would be coachable.  May they accept guidance and instruction with open hearts and willing feet.  I pray that they will be respectful of their coaches and that they will show appreciation to them for their commitment to the team.
• I pray for safety for each member of the team, the coaching staff and their families.  Traveling safety, game day safety, practice safety...you name it.
• I pray that Ted's character will be more refined and more God-honoring at the end of this season.  

Trey and I often say that our children are involved in sports in order to develop character, to develop leadership qualities, to become people of influence.  I have to admit that I tend to forget that in the heat of the games.  I often lose sight of the ultimate victory when an earthly one is staring me down.  Therefore, the toughest prayer to pray is one for myself...

...I pray that MY character will be more refined and more God-honoring at the end of this baseball season.  Will you join me?

I'm not that girl. I'm His girl.

Sometimes I don't want any part of the church.  

[Insert horrified gasp here, all you Southern Baptists, United Methodists and Inter/Non-denominationalists.]

It's impossible. Too many rules.  It's too weird.  Too many expectations.  

Listen to Christian music only. (I prefer Alison Krauss & James Taylor.)

Go to church building every time the doors are open.  (I don't.)

Hold hands, cry and pray with groups of people that you don't know.  (Don't get me started...)

Love, love LOVE VBS.  (Please, please, PLEASE let that be our vacation week!)

I'm a believer, baptized to walk in newness of life.  I love Jesus.  But am I good enough for the Church?  It's not looking good.

So I read Titus 2.  Learn from the older women.  Surely, they can help me with these these feelings of inadequacy.  Surely they will commiserate with me and give me loving advice.  

I hear the older ladies in the church speak to the younger about meeting their husbands at the door, dressed in high heels, each night, keeping a pristine home, cooking gourmet dinners every night, and never, ever, raising their voices to their children.  Apparently, when their children were the ages of mine, they were having twice daily family devotions, teaching children's Sunday school, taking meals to the poor and evangelizing the neighborhood...all during VBS week.  

Ugh.  

And if that isn't bad enough, my contemporaries...who should be feeling the same things as I am...seemingly have it all together.  They have 13.1 (or, heaven-forbid, 26.2) on their rear window, dress like Beth Moore, are raising the next Tim Tebow, David Platt and/or Britt Nicole and, according to Facebook, have weekly girls' nights AND date-nights with their husbands.  

Emptiness, guilt, inadequacy and anxiety. 

I'm not that girl. I will NEVER be that girl.  

But, neither are they...nor WERE they.  Yep, I said it.

Can we ever get past the facade of the Sunday morning perfection and get to the heart of the matter?  We speak of transparency and honesty, but if we share truthfully, our image might be marred.  We might not win the "Lottie Moon Woman of the Year" award.  Worse, we might be on the receiving end of the pitiful head shake, accompanied by the infamous "Bless her heart."   

And then the Holy Spirit whispers...don't you wish He would yell sometimes??...He whispers:  

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;    I have called you by name, you are mine..."

He has redeemed me.  It's none of me.  It's all of Him.  He called me by name.  My name. He knows me.  I am His. No guilt in life, no fear in death.  

"...Remember not the former things,
    nor consider the things of old.
19 Behold, I am doing a new thing;
    now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?"  Isaiah 43:1b, 18-19a

According to Spurgeon, we are not to look merely upon what God has done in the past...as if it was a one-time event...but we are to look to the future and remember that He is able to do the same again. God isn't done with me. I am not perfected. He is constantly pruning me...it's His prerogative as to how and when. Because I am His.
In Paul's letter to the Philippians, he puts it this way: "Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own."  

The only good in me is Christ.

And that's what I want my daughters to know.  That's what I want my lost neighbor to know.  That's what I want the new mom who is struggling to keep her head above water to know.  I am not perfect.  Not even close.  But it doesn't matter.  I belong to the One who made me.  I am pressing on.  

If you ever feel guilty after talking to me, call me on it. I want to be honest, but sometimes that Lottie Moon award is too tempting. :)  

Rest assured, the truth is: I'm a mess...but for Christ.

"But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of him everywhere. For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing, to one a fragrance from death to death, to the other a fragrance from life to life. Who is sufficient for these things?  For we are not, like so many, peddlers of God's word, but as men of sincerity, as commissioned by God, in the sight of God we speak in Christ. 
2 Corinthians 2:14-17

Man is the corrupter of religion. What God founded and man destroyed in the garden of Eden was relationship. Don't look at the failed examples of religion. Look to God.       --Mike Eaton

They Sit Together on the Porch by Wendell Berry

They sit together on the porch, the dark
Almost fallen, the house behind them dark.
Their supper done with, they have washed and dried
The dishes–only two plates now, two glasses,
Two knives, two forks, two spoons–small work for two.
She sits with her hands folded in her lap,
At rest. He smokes his pipe. They do not speak,
And when they speak at last it is to say
What each one knows the other knows. They have
One mind between them, now, that finally
For all its knowing will not exactly know
Which one goes first through the dark doorway, bidding
Goodnight, and which sits on a while alone.

We need to grow up

My church is an extremely missions-minded church.  In fact, that is one of the primary reasons why Trey and I decided to join this particular fellowship of believers.  We want our children to grow up with the Great Commission being lived out before them, not simply taught.

However, over the past few weeks, I have heard several people complain that there is too much of a missions-emphasis from the pulpit.  

"He preaches too much about missions."  "We aren't all called to be missionaries."  "I don't know about you, but I'm supposed to stay right here in my Jerusalem."

To be honest, I have begun struggling with a question about a "calling" to the mission field...why don't I have one??  Why am I not considered one of the elite followers?  Why am I not called to ministry or to missions?  Am I not good enough for God's all-star team?

The truth is:  I have been called.  

In Acts 1:8, Jesus says, "...you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth."  (emphasis mine) Christ-followers, from the very beginning of their walk, are all called to the mission field for the glory of God.  That will definitely look differently in each of our lives, but, make no mistake, we must all be prepared to go.  In fact, Rupert Leary says, "Plan to go, but be willing to stay."

So...if that is the case, why do we get angry at preachers who focus on missions?  Why do we get irritated when the Great Commission is emphasized "too much"?  Why do the vast majority of us believe that we are called to hang out in "Jerusalem" and only the really good ones are bound for the ends of the earth?

"When discipleship is healthy, sending is easy."

Ouch.

When I heard Leary say this, it all came full circle.  The Church is failing in her discipleship ministry.  Therefore, her sending is weakened. 

Jesus said, "Follow me, and I will make you become fishers of men." (Mark 1:17)  He went to the marina, sought out His men and invited them to spend three years in life-on-life ministry with Him in order to prepare them for His purpose...to get His story to the ends of the earth.  Now, the entire earth wasn't even populated at that time, so obviously 12 men weren't going to finish the job.  But, they were to reproduce their lives to the next generation, and that generation would reproduce to the next, and so on.

Discipleship is not a Bible study, a book club or an accountability group.  Discipleship is guiding someone from spiritual infancy to spiritual maturity so that they can reproduce.  We are spiritual babies.  Okay...before you get all high and mighty about being saved as a toddler and a member of your church for the past 30+ years...being a Christian for your entire life does not mean that you are spiritually mature and reproducing.  It might just mean that you are spiritually fat.  Have you ever been discipled?  My heart breaks when I bring this topic up among my generation of believers.  We don't have a clue.  We have been lost in the shuffle of over-programming, worship-style wars, and denominational power struggles.  Our enemy is shrewd.  I wish every pastor would put a hard stop to every single program in the church until a true discipleship program was established and effective.  Imagine.  The last time that happened, the world was changed.

Why does the emphasis on "going" elicit such irritation and angst?  Because we can't.  We don't know how.  But, saying "I can't. Please help me," hurts our pride.  It's easier to whine and say, "You can't make me."  We need to grow up.