A Letter to My Son-in-Law

Right now, you are becoming the man my daughter will commit to loving for the rest of her life. You are out in the world somewhere, but you are on your way to her and you will be in our lives very soon.

Here’s a secret: I cannot wait. 

 

I have prayed for you for years, as well as for my heart as you enter our lives. I have prayed that I would love you from the very beginning, that I would think that you are too good to be true, that I would see immediately that you will be a wonderful husband and father. 

 

I am truly excited about your arrival. I am not worried about losing my daughter to you. She loves me and her father. She respects us and we adore her. There is enough love to go around. I will never, ever ask her to choose. I will be your biggest fan. I will pick you first in charades and Trivial Pursuit. I am excited to add you to our group chat and to include you in our family pictures. I will make your favorite dessert when you come visit and have your favorite drink ready.

 

I promise to be transparent with you about who I am…because that will ultimately help you understand my daughter. You will know our strengths and our weaknesses. I will not sugarcoat the struggles, but I will not dwell on the mistakes either. You can ask me any question and I will answer truthfully. However, I will respect your need for privacy and will allow you to tell me things in your own time.

 

I will not put unreasonable expectations on you. I pray that I will remember the early days of our marriage. You are establishing your career and your family and they both need your attention. 

 

I’m on your side. I want you to feel loved in our home. To prove it, here is my best tip for when you meet the father of your bride:  shake his hand like a man. He might be 30 years older than you, but he has been working on this handshake since the day he heard the doctor say, “It’s a girl.”  One day I hope you will hear those words…only then will you begin to understand the depth of Trey’s love for his daughter. He has been her protector and provider and he has done an amazing job. He has encouraged her to become a woman of influence—in her family, her career, her church, her world. Because of him, she possesses strength of character and courage of convictions. There are no wimpy women in our home, thanks to Trey’s leadership. His daughters are not afraid of confrontation but won’t go looking for a fight. They are hospitable, gracious and fiercely loyal. They love Jesus. 

 

I am praying for you…that you will love the Lord with all of your heart, mind and strength, and that my daughter will be God’s greatest gift in your life, second only to His saving grace. She is going to love you so much. Thank you for loving her back. 

 

Love,

Wynne

 

Don't Ask Me.

"Do you have any tricks or secrets to handling all the busyness of life with 4 active kids?"

That's the question I received via Facebook this morning.  Truly, today is the worst day to ask me that question.  I am sitting here in tears over the exchange I had with one of my children.  I am feeling incredibly guilty over the lack of attention given to my youngest two as the older two.  And don't even get me started on the state of my house.  I think the sheets on my oldest's bed have been completely kicked off and he was sleeping just under a blanket.

I used to think that these days would be so much easier than the days of sippy cups, car seats, bathtime and Barney.  Now all of my children bathe themselves, sleep [usually] in their own beds and enjoy watching some of the same shows that I do.  However, those days of mommy knowing everything and being able to fix anything are gone.  Now I am a source of embarrassment if I don't look, drive or talk the "right" way.  But I have sort of expected that.  After all, I was a teenager once myself.  

[Please forgive me, Momma and Daddy.]

What I wasn't expecting was the heart-wrenching feeling that accompanies the mumbling, the sarcasm, the eye rolls.  The feeling that I have just sacrificed my day--my energy, my schedule, my body--for this child who has no regard for me.  No appreciation for the little things that encompass my entire existence as her mother.  

How dare she?  How dare he?  

How dare I?

I do the same thing to my Father.  Every day.  Every hour.  He presents me with his best...and I grumble.  He saved my soul for His glory in this life and the next...and I neglect Him.  He gives me His Truth...and I argue about what He should have said or what He really meant.

"In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus...he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant..."  Philippians 2:6, 7b

Can I be like Christ in that way?  If so, then I will be able to approach the busyness of life with joy.  If not, then I will stress over every little detail to the most of making myself and my family miserable.

I choose joy.

And now I must pray for God to help me...

Season of Prayer

My oldest son's baseball season begins tomorrow.  Of course, conditioning, tryouts and practices have been going on for months, but the first game is tomorrow.  All of the Auburn Wages will put on our royal blue shirts, scarfs & caps, arrive at the ballpark early and cheer loudly for the Tigers.  It's what we do.

There are many unknowns to be answered over the next two months of baseball:  Who will start?  How will Ted pitch?  Batting averages, winning percentages, RBIs and ERAs.  Will the Tigers win more than they lose?  Will the PA announcer call his name correctly?  

So many unknowns...Truly, only one thing is certain:  I do not have control over any of these.  The outcome of any at-bat or pitch or game has ZERO to do with me. For some people, that would be liberating.  For this type A, control-freak mom, it is a little bothersome.  I HAVE to do something, right?

So, I am going to do what I CAN do.  I am going to declare this baseball season to be a season of prayer.  I don't exactly know how this is going to play out--a designated time each week?  A more regular blog post?  Just personal, quality times of prayer in the quiet of my home?  Meeting with other moms?  Not sure yet.  

But one thing I do know:  I will not pray that the Tigers win.

Before you completely write me off, I am not going to pray that they lose, either.  However, I am more concerned about my son and his teammates' character development than their record.  So, here are some ways that I will pray for Ted (and his teammates):

• I pray that they will be good sports, that they will accept victory humbly and defeat graciously.  I pray that they will keep a check on their emotions and a lock on their 15-year old tongues.  
• I pray that they will not seek individual accolades, but that those who are followers of Christ would do all things for the glory of God and that all team members would work together for the good of the team.  I pray that they would rejoice with each other's success and would encourage others during times of failure.
• I pray that these young men would be coachable.  May they accept guidance and instruction with open hearts and willing feet.  I pray that they will be respectful of their coaches and that they will show appreciation to them for their commitment to the team.
• I pray for safety for each member of the team, the coaching staff and their families.  Traveling safety, game day safety, practice safety...you name it.
• I pray that Ted's character will be more refined and more God-honoring at the end of this season.  

Trey and I often say that our children are involved in sports in order to develop character, to develop leadership qualities, to become people of influence.  I have to admit that I tend to forget that in the heat of the games.  I often lose sight of the ultimate victory when an earthly one is staring me down.  Therefore, the toughest prayer to pray is one for myself...

...I pray that MY character will be more refined and more God-honoring at the end of this baseball season.  Will you join me?