A Letter to My Son-in-Law

Right now, you are becoming the man my daughter will commit to loving for the rest of her life. You are out in the world somewhere, but you are on your way to her and you will be in our lives very soon.

Here’s a secret: I cannot wait. 

 

I have prayed for you for years, as well as for my heart as you enter our lives. I have prayed that I would love you from the very beginning, that I would think that you are too good to be true, that I would see immediately that you will be a wonderful husband and father. 

 

I am truly excited about your arrival. I am not worried about losing my daughter to you. She loves me and her father. She respects us and we adore her. There is enough love to go around. I will never, ever ask her to choose. I will be your biggest fan. I will pick you first in charades and Trivial Pursuit. I am excited to add you to our group chat and to include you in our family pictures. I will make your favorite dessert when you come visit and have your favorite drink ready.

 

I promise to be transparent with you about who I am…because that will ultimately help you understand my daughter. You will know our strengths and our weaknesses. I will not sugarcoat the struggles, but I will not dwell on the mistakes either. You can ask me any question and I will answer truthfully. However, I will respect your need for privacy and will allow you to tell me things in your own time.

 

I will not put unreasonable expectations on you. I pray that I will remember the early days of our marriage. You are establishing your career and your family and they both need your attention. 

 

I’m on your side. I want you to feel loved in our home. To prove it, here is my best tip for when you meet the father of your bride:  shake his hand like a man. He might be 30 years older than you, but he has been working on this handshake since the day he heard the doctor say, “It’s a girl.”  One day I hope you will hear those words…only then will you begin to understand the depth of Trey’s love for his daughter. He has been her protector and provider and he has done an amazing job. He has encouraged her to become a woman of influence—in her family, her career, her church, her world. Because of him, she possesses strength of character and courage of convictions. There are no wimpy women in our home, thanks to Trey’s leadership. His daughters are not afraid of confrontation but won’t go looking for a fight. They are hospitable, gracious and fiercely loyal. They love Jesus. 

 

I am praying for you…that you will love the Lord with all of your heart, mind and strength, and that my daughter will be God’s greatest gift in your life, second only to His saving grace. She is going to love you so much. Thank you for loving her back. 

 

Love,

Wynne

 

A Letter to My Daughter-in-Law

I dreamed about you the other night. I couldn't see your face, I do not know your name, I do not know when or where or how you will decide that you love my son, but I know that you are coming.  You do not know me yet. Well, I guess you might, but the odds are that you don't. 

You do not know yet the joy of motherhood. You also do not know the pain that accompanies this highest of callings. I pray that one day you will.  I pray that one day you will rejoice greatly as the doctor says, "It's a boy!"...that one day your heart will ache as you realize that your baby boy is now taller than you...that one day a small tear will come to your eye when he surprises you with a bear hug and an apology after his testosterone-rich temper has caused him to say not-so-nice things to you.  

My sons are a constant source of joy and frustration... And I love them with my whole heart. I pray that you too will be the mother of a son.

I pray this for you because it is through these feelings of love and frustration that you will come to understand me a little better. Specifically, you will begin to understand how I feel toward your husband. Your protector, your provider, your love was first my baby, my little buddy, my son.

But soon he will be yours. His love and primary concern will be focused on you. And, since I know that day is coming, I must prepare myself. How on earth can I do that?

First, I must love his daddy with my whole heart. My command from God is to fulfill my vow to Trey, to my own husband. I must guard myself against putting my children above my husband. If I keep the proper perspective then the empty nest will be appealing, not depressing.

Second, I must remember that my identity is found in the cross of Christ, not in any of the earthly blessings I have. Can I say, like Job, "The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord."? (Job 1:21b) Do I find my completion, my wholeness in Christ? Colossians 2:10 says, "... in Him you have been made complete."  I must daily remember that His "grace is sufficient" for all things. (2 Corinthians 12:9)

Lastly, I must pray that I will live expectantly for your arrival on the scene in our lives. I pray that I will adore you from day one. I pray that I will think that you are too good to be true. Truly, I hope that I am shocked that you would choose my son to love!  I pray that I will not view you or treat you as a daughter, but as a beloved friend.  I pray that your relationship with your mother is strong. I pray that she will know from the very beginning that I have no desire to replace her in your life.  I pray that I will be available when you need me,  I want to be a source of experiential wisdom and love for you when times get tough.  I pray that I will remember these busy days when homework, carpool, ball games and piano lessons dominate the calendar.  I pray that the stress of being a young wife and mother will be vivid memories and that I will seek out ways to simply help you. I also pray that I will remember and be honest about my mistakes.  I pray that I will be quick to tell of the times when God worked in spite of me and slow to give myself any credit for any good in my children. 

Precious one, I know your husband quite well. But you will know him better. I can't wait to watch from the sidelines as you grow together!  He will love you so much. Thank you for loving him back. 

Love,

Wynne