Im Torn

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Exerpts from Macy Maddox's Coffee Talk on June 14, 2010. The topic was Discipling Your Children.

2 Timothy 3: 14-15 “But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, because you know those from whom you learned it, 15and how from infancy you have known the holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.


The Holy Scriptures will make you wise to salvation. Give them Jesus!

First of all, you must know Christ yourself. Secondly, you must love your husband.
Always have a “wifery” book. Macy’s current one is Love & Respect by Emerson Eggerichs http://www.amazon.com/Love-Respect-Desires-Desperately-Needs/dp/1591451876/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1276578171&sr=1-1


Teach them the things of God

What are hindrances to reading, immersing, pummeling your children with God’s truth?
  • Time 
    • Be leery of organized activities too early.
    • Play with siblings.
    • Go outside.
    • Stay at home.
  • Distractions
    • Back off.
    • Do only one thing outside of the home.
    • When you are home, BE ALL THERE.
  • Children’s short attention span
    • Be quick and to the point.
    • As long as they aren’t interrupting you, let them be children.
  • Feelings of inadequacy
    • Learn it yourself! God will give you what to say.
Recommended Parenting Books

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Play to win, but in the process, grow

We have just wrapped up another baseball season for our oldest son, Ted. The practices, the games, the uniform-washing…I really do love all of it as the mom of a growing boy. However, this season has caused me sadness in my heart for the future. What is the purpose for youth team sports? Why do families sacrifice “free time” for youth sports? Why do we spend hours upon hours at the ballpark?


Youth team sports should be first and foremost about character-development. You should want your children to learn a few basic attributes as a result of sports: a good work ethic, perseverance, cooperation among teammates, coachability, how to handle adversity. If your goal for your son in little league baseball is to get him a Junior College scholarship, I am afraid you are misguided. If your goal for your son in little league baseball is for him to be a Major Leaguer, I am afraid you are delusional. The number of MLB players in its history is estimated to be around 17,000; the number of children aged 6 to 18 who compete in youth sports every year is around 44 million (according to the National Council’s 2008 study).


Trey was the head coach for Ted’s team this spring. During his initial meeting with the parents, he told them, “We may not win a game, but we will do three things: 1. We will hustle on and off the field; 2. We will manage our own dugout; and, 3. We will respect our teammates, our coaches and the umpires and not have temper tantrums.” What was he saying? He was saying that he expects maximum effort, that he expects them to be responsible and that he expects respectful and appropriate behavior on and off the field.


Hustle. That doesn’t sound too hard. If I heard Trey yell, “RUN!!!” one time, I heard it one thousand times. Run on and off the field. Run to get into position to catch the ball. Run to first base when you hit the ball. Run, run, run. Exert the effort. Of course, as Christians, we believe that we should do “all things” to the glory of God. What does it say about us if we don’t expect that to trickle down to extracurricular activities? “All things” means all things.

Manage the dugout. Keep your hat and glove together. Be responsible for your gear. The Gatorade can wait; water is fine. No visiting at the dugout. (Moms, it is time that we let our boys be young men.  If they are truly hurt, the coach will come get us.)  The game is still being played even when our team is batting; it is not social hour. For goodness sake, encourage your teammates. Learn the game.  Carry your own gear to the car once the game is over. 


Respect. Your teammates deserve respect by virtue of the fact that you signed up for a team sport. That means, you show up for practice and for games. Take responsibility for your mistakes, learn from them. I don’t care if you are the “super star” on the team; don’t refer to your teammate as “kid”.  Encourage your teammates.  Be a leader. 


The coaches deserve respect from the players because they are in authority over them. I have seen that the pool of young men my daughters will have to choose from consists primarily of disrespectful boys who roll their eyes at successful grown men, yell at their own fathers from the mound, and refuse to be coachable. God help us all.  The coaches deserve respect from the parents because we have registered our children for a team sport.  Our children learn from us. 
 (Oh, another thing. If your child is fortunate enough to have a former professional baseball player as coach, please understand that he actually does know more than either you or your son do about the game. In fact, he has probably forgotten more about baseball than either of you will ever know.)


Lastly, the umpires deserve respect because they are the umpires. That might be the hardest for even the most respectful child. Umpires make bad calls. Sometimes a lot of them. But they are the final say. End of discussion. And, parents, please keep your mouths shut. I promise if you saw a video of yourself yelling at the college kid who is earning some extra money by calling balls and strikes, you would be embarrassed. It is just not acceptable.


I love, love baseball. I love that my son enjoys the sport. I love that he is competitive and wants to win. However, I am most proud of him when I see him encouraging his teammate who just made a mistake, when I see him hustling off the field after catching behind the plate for 6 innings straight, when I see him putting his arm around an opposing team’s player as they pray. Those images are worth a thousand homeruns.  He is a work in progress and God's grace has been lavished upon us over his lifetime.  May we be worthy of the responsibility of parenting Ted, his sisters and his brother.


Play to win, but in the process, grow.


Saturday, April 10, 2010

What I've learned from Hogan...so far

There's an 8 day old baby boy in Athens, Georgia, who is having a huge impact on a lot of people these days.  Hogan is his name and he was born on April 2 despite all of the earthly odds being against him.  God, through Hogan, has taught me quite a few things this week.
First of all, I've learned that while God might not answer my prayers in the "best" way according to my way of thinking, He answers them in a way to give Himself the greater glory.  The "best" way would've been for Hogan to be born perfectly healthy...the ultrasound would've been wrong...miraculous healing would've occurred.  Wow...if that had happened last Friday, God would have received much glory!  But God is choosing to answer prayers incrementally.  Hogan was born alive...he lived long enough for his mom to hold him after her c-section...his older brother and sister have met him...his grandmothers have held him...he is spending night after night with his dad in the NICU...he surpassed the "5-7 day" lifespan prediction...and the list goes on.  As a result, God is receiving the greater glory because untold numbers of people are reading and watching this love story unfold through Facebook and Hogan's blog.  Hogan's family is on display for many to see and they are being faithful to the One who has called them.
Secondly, Hogan has reminded me to "take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."  Every thought, every moment, every everything that I have is because of Christ.  My attitude and my life should be marked with thankfulness, obedience and love. 
I am loving on my children more today than two weeks ago.  That doesn't mean that I have stopped disciplining them, but I am reminded daily of how blessed we are to have four healthy children entrusted to us for a time.  God has called me to the highest of callings...wife & mother.  When I am called home, I pray that God will be able to say "well done" when we look at the men and women who were my baby boys and girls.
I am reminded that God uses the weak things of this world to shame the wise.  My sweet husband is so pragmatic about medical issues.  I am much more hopeful.  He has continually tried to breathe some realism into my idealism.  (Not liking that, by the way.)  I would assume that Hogan's victories this week are amazing the physicians and nurses who, like Trey, might have become numb to the possibility of miracles.  It's not their fault...it's easier to deal with loss when the situation is hopeless.  However, God says in Isaiah, "You were tired out by the length of your road, Yet you did not say, 'It is hopeless.'  You found renewed strength, Therefore you did not faint."  May God renew the strength of all of our medical professionals while He renews their belief in miracles.
Lastly, Hogan's name means "warrior".  He is fighting each battle with the ferocity of a great military hero.  Zephaniah 3:17 in the NAS version says, "The LORD your God is in your midst, A victorious warrior.  He will exult over you with joy, He will be quiet in His love, He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy."  Hogan is a warrior from the line of Christ...the warrior who wins the ultimate victory. 
I pray that I will be open to the things that God is teaching me through Hogan, through my children, through all of the people with whom I come in contact.  Keep 'em coming!