A Letter to My Daughter-in-Law

I dreamed about you the other night. I couldn't see your face, I do not know your name, I do not know when or where or how you will decide that you love my son, but I know that you are coming.  You do not know me yet. Well, I guess you might, but the odds are that you don't. 

You do not know yet the joy of motherhood. You also do not know the pain that accompanies this highest of callings. I pray that one day you will.  I pray that one day you will rejoice greatly as the doctor says, "It's a boy!"...that one day your heart will ache as you realize that your baby boy is now taller than you...that one day a small tear will come to your eye when he surprises you with a bear hug and an apology after his testosterone-rich temper has caused him to say not-so-nice things to you.  

My sons are a constant source of joy and frustration... And I love them with my whole heart. I pray that you too will be the mother of a son.

I pray this for you because it is through these feelings of love and frustration that you will come to understand me a little better. Specifically, you will begin to understand how I feel toward your husband. Your protector, your provider, your love was first my baby, my little buddy, my son.

But soon he will be yours. His love and primary concern will be focused on you. And, since I know that day is coming, I must prepare myself. How on earth can I do that?

First, I must love his daddy with my whole heart. My command from God is to fulfill my vow to Trey, to my own husband. I must guard myself against putting my children above my husband. If I keep the proper perspective then the empty nest will be appealing, not depressing.

Second, I must remember that my identity is found in the cross of Christ, not in any of the earthly blessings I have. Can I say, like Job, "The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord."? (Job 1:21b) Do I find my completion, my wholeness in Christ? Colossians 2:10 says, "... in Him you have been made complete."  I must daily remember that His "grace is sufficient" for all things. (2 Corinthians 12:9)

Lastly, I must pray that I will live expectantly for your arrival on the scene in our lives. I pray that I will adore you from day one. I pray that I will think that you are too good to be true. Truly, I hope that I am shocked that you would choose my son to love!  I pray that I will not view you or treat you as a daughter, but as a beloved friend.  I pray that your relationship with your mother is strong. I pray that she will know from the very beginning that I have no desire to replace her in your life.  I pray that I will be available when you need me,  I want to be a source of experiential wisdom and love for you when times get tough.  I pray that I will remember these busy days when homework, carpool, ball games and piano lessons dominate the calendar.  I pray that the stress of being a young wife and mother will be vivid memories and that I will seek out ways to simply help you. I also pray that I will remember and be honest about my mistakes.  I pray that I will be quick to tell of the times when God worked in spite of me and slow to give myself any credit for any good in my children. 

Precious one, I know your husband quite well. But you will know him better. I can't wait to watch from the sidelines as you grow together!  He will love you so much. Thank you for loving him back. 

Love,

Wynne

Obedience has a Price Tag

"I will not offer burnt offerings to the Lord my God that cost me nothing." 2 Samuel 24:24b

David was told by the prophet Gad to build an altar to the Lord on the threshing floor belonging to a man named Araunah.  His call, his marching orders, were clear...do this thing. 

So, David went to Araunah and told him the purpose behind his visit:  "To buy the threshing floor from you, in order to build an altar to the Lord, that the plague may be averted from the people." 2 Samuel 24:21

Well, Araunah was a good Israelite. His king had come to him in need of something. His response was like ours would have been: "Take it...all that you need or want!! Free of charge; it is my pleasure, my king!"

However, David...the KING...does not respond in the manner which I anticipated. "No, but I will buy it from you for a price. I will not offer burnt offerings to the Lord my God that cost me nothing." 2 Samuel 24:24

How does this passage relate to short-term missions?

"I will not offer burnt offerings to the Lord my God that cost me nothing."

If you believe that God has commanded you to do something...if your "call", your marching order, is clear...then do it. Go in obedience.

However, do not expect that in the completion of your task, you will incur no costs. The God who required the ultimate sacrifice from His own Son surely expects a little from us, don't you think?

First, humble yourself.  Did David send a messenger to Araunah to tell him what the king needed? No. He personally went.  If the King of Israel can make a personal appearance before his potential benefactor, so can we.  A letter requesting support should only serve as a reminder to a previously held conversation. Go to people, tell them why you are going, tell them where you are going, tell them what you hope the end result will be.

If you hand me a support letter without asking me to sit down and give you an opportunity to tell me about your trip, I will throw it away. End of story. If you cannot sacrifice your time and humble yourself to ask face-to-face, you are not fit for the mission field...short- or long-term.

Second, be prepared for an outpouring of gifts. David asked to buy the threshing floor. Araunah offered to give him the threshing floor, the oxen, and the threshing sledges and oxen yokes to use as wood! And, on top of that, he offered his blessing upon David: "May The Lord accept you." 2 Samuel 24:23

Now, this doesn't mean that everyone you ask will give. However, some will. And some will give beyond what you could imagine. Ask them all to pray for you.  Ask them to pray that your calling is clear and that you are obeying God completely.

Lastly, be willing to work. It would have been so easy...and so understandable...for David to simply respond with a grateful, "Thank you." However, he knew that obedience requires sacrifice. 

"I will not offer burnt offerings to the Lord my God that cost me nothing."

Offer to work for people who you ask for support.  Babysit, do yard work, clean their house, go grocery shopping for them. I would be willing to guarantee that their "payment" will be greater proportionally than your sacrifice of time or labor.  I do not believe that God desires for us to depend wholly on the benevolence of others to accomplish the good works He has prepared in advance for us to do. 

How does the story end? David buys the threshing floor and oxen, builds an altar and sacrifices to the Lord, who hears David's plea and the plague on the land is averted. In other words, David obeyed and God moved. Don't you want to experience that? 

I hope our family has the opportunity to join many in the fulfillment of their marching orders.